Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
Randomize