i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize