we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
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