you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Randomize
