I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
