K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
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