Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
I want you more than these girls want KFC
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Randomize
