from now on my penis is your penis
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
You pole danced in your parka.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize