you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
