you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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