i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
