is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize