I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
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