shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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