it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
