Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Randomize
