you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
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