piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
