You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
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