So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
