There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
