She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
