If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Randomize
