I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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