once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Randomize
