I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
Randomize
