So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Randomize
