yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
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