everyone is single if you try hard enough
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize