So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
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