I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
where am i from again
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Randomize
