Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Randomize
