So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I'm gonna fight the coyote
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
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