there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
