The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Randomize
