goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
