I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize