the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
