don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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