Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Randomize
