office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
