Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
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