Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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