I think I died a long time ago.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
