this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize