Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
