Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
I haven't been this sober since birth.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
