Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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