I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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