i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize