pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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