GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize