Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
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