I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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