I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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