That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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