so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
