like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
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