He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
