are you so shy because you have an std?
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Randomize
