What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
