whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Randomize
