I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
