She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
