You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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