something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
Randomize