Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Randomize
