i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
