i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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