she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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