Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
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