i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Randomize
