Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize
