We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
