hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Redeem this text for a blowjob
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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