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Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
