their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
