Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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