Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
I stole a fireplace last night.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
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