Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
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