Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Randomize
